“When we walked into our bay at the NICU, we saw someone else’s name on the feeding bottle. We asked the nurse and she lied right away. After realizing that we caught her, she admitted the error and called the doctor. It took 3 days and us to force the doctor to start the routine check and emergency procedures.“
“At one point I asked her if I could go in shower but she said no because the monitors weren’t waterproof. The nurse that came in later said I could because they were waterproof... I was surprised again by this misinformation. I didn’t use the shower because by that point I was nearing pushing and had had an epidural. The OB team switched over and so did my midwife team. My midwife checked my cervix once and the OB did so the times after that. The OB was exceptionally rough with my cervix to the point where I asked her to take it easy because she was hurting me. Nothing changed and hours later during one of her last checks she said, “I was going to open your cervix and inch or two but didn’t because I didn’t think you’d like it”. Damn straight I wouldn’t have liked it! What happened to consent?”
“For my second pregnancy, I did everything I possibly could to get a midwife. My second birth experience - still in hospital, but led by my midwife - was calm and peaceful. It was still very slow, but my midwife allowed me to progress in the way that my body wanted, and asked for my consent for EVERY intervention. I felt in control, as she gave me advice and allowed ME to make choices. I had a successful VBAC in 2017. When my baby emerged, he was placed on my chest. We were able to gaze at each other and bond as I was stitched up. It was one of the greatest moments of my life.”
“Modern obstetrics is rife with condescension, medical paternalism, and misogyny. Sometimes it's subtle, and sometimes it's not. Take these examples pulled directly from the website of a well-regarded downtown teaching hospital in Toronto, Ontario:
’Remaining in control of yourself and your fear is the one major way for you to help your labour along. Let the doctors worry about any abnormalities and, if none have so far been discussed with you, rely on their care for you and your baby. You are there to breathe and cope and push the baby out when the time comes.’”
“As a Catholic teaching hospital, the cultural aversion to informed consent and bodily autonomy in your childbirth unit makes sense, however, some patients raised this culture as an area of concern in the feedback survey. You shared in your letter that you are “continuing to seek learning opportunities that expand care providers’ understanding of what obstetrical [sic] violence is and ways we can ensure patients don’t experience this under our care” In the meeting it was stated that “ideally we need to embed it into some standardized classes” but you were not able to speak to whether “obstetric violence” or “patient mistreatment” are terms that had come up at all yet, even in less formal conversations and huddles on the unit.
However, you expressed with certainty that there have still been no formalized discussions or training around what constitutes obstetric violence, and how to interrupt the cycle of obstetric violence in your Family Birthing Centre. It was also unclear whether the experiences of abuse and mistreatment some patients shared in their survey responses have been addressed in a comprehensive way.”
"I was a single pregnant female without a phone or anyone around to help. [...] I legit thought this evening I was going to die. I honestly felt it was the end and they didn't even help me to the bathroom."
"I was too afraid to file a complaint because she implied that she could come after me. I didn’t know how or for what reason but I was so scared of her that I didn’t say anything until my son was 18 months and I was back at work. I realized that there’s nothing she could do, and I filed a complaint with the hospital."